Parents' evenings: how to get something useful out of them
Most parents' evening slots last somewhere between five and ten minutes, per subject, per teacher. That's not very long to find out how your child is really doing, so it's worth having a plan going in rather than winging it on the night. Here's how to make the most of the time you've got.
8 min read · Last checked August 2026
Quick answer
- Slots are short, often five to ten minutes, so a little preparation goes a long way.
- Write your questions down beforehand, and lead with the ones that matter most, since you might not get through them all.
- Ask your child in advance if there's anything they'd like you to raise on their behalf.
- Save any serious or lengthy concerns for a separate, dedicated meeting rather than trying to squeeze them into a rushed slot.
- Make a note of what each teacher says on the night. It's easy to muddle several conversations together afterwards.
- Follow up afterwards, especially if a teacher suggested something specific you or your child could try at home.
Why a little preparation makes a real difference
With such a short window per subject, teachers often start talking the moment you sit down, covering what they most want you to know. That's useful, but it can mean your own questions get squeezed out if you haven't thought about them beforehand. Going in with two or three clear priorities, written down if it helps, means you're far more likely to leave with the information you actually wanted, rather than just what the teacher happened to lead with.
Ask your child what they'd like you to raise
Before the evening, it's worth asking your child directly if there's anything they'd like you to mention to a particular teacher. Children often have things on their mind, whether that's confusion about a topic, a group work issue, or something they're proud of, that they haven't necessarily told you about directly, but would be glad to have raised on their behalf. It also helps them feel like part of the process, rather than something that happens to them while they wait outside.
Questions worth having ready
You won't get through a long list in a short slot, so pick two or three that matter most to you, rather than trying to cover everything. Genuinely useful starting points include:
- How does my child engage in lessons, and how do they get on with other pupils?
- What are they doing well at the moment, and where do they need to improve?
- Is there anything specific we could try at home to support this subject?
- What will they be learning about next, so we know what's coming?
If a teacher's answer to any of these raises something you want to explore properly, it's fine to ask for a longer, separate conversation another time, rather than trying to resolve it in the couple of minutes you have left.
Save the big issues for a separate meeting
If you already know you have something significant to raise, a serious concern about progress, wellbeing, or something happening with friendships, it's genuinely better to ask for a dedicated meeting outside of parents' evening rather than trying to fit it into a rushed slot with a queue of parents waiting. Parents' evening moves fast, and a real conversation about a real concern deserves more than a few minutes squeezed between other families. You can usually arrange this by emailing the teacher or the school office directly, and most schools are glad to set aside proper time for it.
Take notes on the night
After moving between several subjects and teachers in a single evening, it's easy for what each one said to blur together by the time you get home. A quick note on your phone or a scrap of paper, just a line or two per subject, makes a real difference when you're trying to remember specifics a few days later, especially if a teacher suggested something concrete to try.
What to do with what you've learned afterwards
Once the evening's over, it's worth a short conversation with your child, focusing mainly on the positives a teacher shared, since that tends to land better than opening with a list of things to improve. If a teacher suggested something specific, extra reading, a particular kind of practice, or a change in approach, try to actually follow up on it in the weeks that follow, rather than letting a good suggestion quietly disappear. If a genuine concern came up that needs more than a quick fix, that's the point to email the teacher, request that separate meeting mentioned above, or, if it touches on additional needs, look into the wider support available. Our [guide to SEND support in Kent schools](/guides/send-support-kent-schools) is a good next step if a parents' evening conversation has raised questions about additional support your child might need.
A note on bringing your child along
Whether children attend parents' evening with their parents varies a lot between schools, and often between primary and secondary. In primary school it's less common, while in secondary school it's often expected, partly so your child hears the same feedback directly rather than it being relayed second-hand. Check what your own child's school expects, since it isn't the same everywhere, and it can shape how you prepare and what you feel comfortable raising in the room.
Questions parents ask
How long do I actually get with each teacher?
It varies by school, but slots are typically somewhere between five and ten minutes per subject or teacher. That's genuinely short, which is why it's worth deciding your two or three priority questions beforehand rather than hoping to cover everything.
Should I bring up a serious concern during parents' evening itself?
It's usually better not to. A rushed few minutes with other families waiting isn't the right setting for a proper conversation about a serious concern. It's generally better to raise it briefly on the night if it comes up naturally, but follow up by requesting a dedicated, longer meeting with the relevant teacher.
Should my child come to parents' evening with me?
This depends on the school. It's less common in primary school and more commonly expected in secondary school, partly so the child hears feedback directly. Check what your own child's school does, since practice genuinely varies.
What should I do after parents' evening is over?
Have a short conversation with your child, leading with the positive comments a teacher shared. If a teacher suggested something specific to try at home, follow up on it in the weeks afterwards. If something concerning came up that needs more time than the slot allowed, email the teacher directly to arrange a proper follow-up conversation.
Useful links
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